By Lee Kaplan
The news has been full of a recent Hebrew University study by MA candidate Tal Nitzan under the supervision of her department head in Sociology Zali Gurevitch that claims that IDF soldiers do not rape Palestinian women because they consider them to be sub-human, and that such conduct is the result of a political scheme on the part of the Israeli government to de-humanize the Arab population.. A masterful scholar, Ms. Nitzan determined this through a random sample of the whopping number of 25 IDF soldiers chosen at random through her network of girlfriends. Scholars should certainly marvel at this scientific study that cast a pall on the entire IDF of 500,000 soldiers, and that also garnered her an award for her White Paper in the field of sociology. Thanks to the Israeli taxpayer from the Village of Chelm, Ms. Nitzan’s work will not go unrecognized for its deep scientific research.
Also today, because of the Village of Chelm News Service and my own investigative reporting, I have been able to get the transcripts of the focus group interviews held by Ms. Nitzan with some of those IDF soldiers. They are truly alarming. Whereas one might think Israeli soldiers do not rape Palestinian women due to Jewish ethics and the Purity of Arms training they receive, we really have to lay the fault of this phenomenon on the part of Jewish mothers.
Everyone knows that Jewish mothers make the best parole officers because they are excellent at judging guilt and they never let their children finish a sentence. This has obviously played a role in instilling a national political goal of demeaning Palestinian Arab women by not allowing for equal opportunity rapes to occur by their sons in the IDF (for scientific reasons, we are leaving out the women in the IDF, because Lesbian activity in the IDF is now undergoing a new process of training that was devised by the international “peace activists” in the International Solidarity Movement).
Below is a partial transcript of the interview held by Ms. Nitzan with some of her IDF interviewees, Sergeant Shlomi, Corporal Gabi; Colonel Gal and Private Tal.
Nitzan: So, Sergeant Shlomi, have you ever raped a Palestinian woman and if not, why not?
Sergeant Shlomi; It has never been a desire of mine to rape any woman, least of all a Palestinian woman.
Nitzan: Ah, hah! So you would want to rape a Palestinian woman “ least of all.” Isn’t that racist? Why would raping a Palestinian woman be the least of all women you wanted to rape? This clearly reveals an imbued government policy of considering Arab women as sub-human as part of the apartheid regime of Israel…You really should get sensitivity training to instill in you the idea of equal opportunity raping.
Sergeant Shlomi: No, my momma taught me to respect all women.
Nitzan: Ah hah! Clearly you were brought up in a racist Israeli household
since your mother did not feel Palestinian women were worthy of being
Sergeant Shlom : I think you’re an idiot….
Nitzan: Ah hah! Clearly you are exhibiting the typical Israeli male behavior of denigrating women in general, that translates into further misogyny against the oppressed women of the world.
Sergeant Shlomi; I’m outta here…
Nitzan: So Corporal Gilad, have you ever raped a Palestinian woman while on duty?
Corporal Gabi: Rape a Palestinian woman? Oh, yucko!!!
Nitzan: You said. "Yuck"? Clearly you think Palestinian women are
not as nice as Israeli women...Don't you believe in equal opportunity
raping? Would you normally describe a woman as “yucko”?
Corporal Gabi: I’ll make an exception in your case…
Nitzan; Thank you, Colonel Gal. I appreciate having a high-ranking officer to interview for this very complicated sociological study.
Colonel Gal: Nu?
Nitzan: Colonel Gal, have you ever raped a Palestinian woman while
serving in Judea and Samaria or Gaza?
Colonel Gal: What? Are you kidding? Its never interested me. I assumed
they have three boobs under those penguin suits anyway...Besides, they're always
Nitzan: Clearly, Colonel Gal, you consider Palestinian women as
sub-human since you think they have three boobs...
Colonel Gal: You mean they don't? Hee…hee! I was joking, you shlemiel, Why would I need to rape a Palestinian woman?
Nitzan: Would you say this three boob theory is instilled in the IDF as part of the socio-political climate of dealing with the Palestinian Arabs? You obviously represent a colonialist capitalist conspiracy against the Arab woman. If you didn’t regard Palestinian women as sub-human, you’d no doubt do your duty and rape at least one
Colonel Gal: Ms. Nitzan, do you know how often a Palestinian Arab woman throws out the trash?
Colonel Gal: Every nine months.
Nitzan: Colonel Gal, clearly you are prejudiced against Palestinian women.
I recommend you rape one right away to destroy such racist notions...
Colonel Gal: I was joking…
Nitzan: There is no joking in serious academia as we fight the colonialist
and imperialist capitalists of America and their puppet army regime in Israel!
Colonel Gal; Yeah, whatever… I think I’ll tell our supply sergeant to order Viagra
as standard IDF equipment…I have things to do…I gotta go…
Nitzan: Private Tal, have you ever desired or attempted to rape a Palestinian woman?
Private Tal; I'd rather rape a camel!
Nitzan: Ah hah! You clearly have a prejudiced view against Palestinian women since you prefer camels.
Private Tal; Actually, I apologize for insulting camels. Miss, do you know why Palestinian men don’t travel and have sex on the same day?
Nitzan: Why, no. Tell me.
Private Tal; Their camels get tired. Hee…hee…
Nitzan: Private Tal, I am reporting you to the advocate general and will note in my report
that you are equally prejudiced against camels and Palestinian women...
Private Tal: Not really, I think there are plenty of camels in Machsom Watch. In any case, I have better things to do, like watch out Palestinian women transporting bombs…
Nitzan: Thank you, gentlemen, you are all representative of the
entire IDF and my report will be out soon. Be sure to check all the ISM
websites at every major university in America as well as Counterpunch and Al Jazeera.